Frayed Society, Breaking Heart:



Frayed Society, Breaking Heart:

“In some ways we are different, but in so many ways we are the same.” (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)

In the wake of yet another violent attack against other human beings and the online backlash that occurred from it, I feel compelled to write a special blog. Normally, I do not post about politically fueled arguments or societies issues. I try to stick to blogs about writing and writers lives, however I cannot sit silently by as these kinds of violent acts keep happening and not say anything about them. Recently in Charlottesville Virginia a group of protesters gathered to say that a statue that had been in the town for many years should be torn down because it was offensive to them and their history. There was an uprising of people that disagreed with them and violence ensued. Several people were killed and more injured. (This is a short version of what happened, however, I encourage you to read articles if you want more facts.) This is one of many protests in the past few years that have ended in violence. I am so ashamed of the society that we live in that I find it difficult to raise my son in this world. I just do not know what to tell him anymore or how to explain our world to him. As a mother, if my son was angry that someone else had a toy that he wanted or if he was feeling jealous of someone or hurt by someone making fun of him, I would say to him, do not break that person’s property or throw something at them or take what they have or try to hurt them in any way. Instead, use your words. I teach my son to speak up when something is bothering him and we talk about it. I also teach my son that sometimes you can confront the person you are having trouble with, ask them to share the item you want or ask them to stop doing whatever they are doing because it is hurting your feelings. I teach him that, hopefully, they will stop or share, however, they may not. If they do not, it is up to him to walk away. I tell him he can feel sad or mad about it, he can tell someone what they did or cry about it. He can see if someone else can change their mind for him. If none of that works, he has to accept it and move on. Basically I teach that you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes you have to just be grateful for what you do have. I also teach my son that we are all different and that that is okay. I tell him, your friend acts differently than you because they are different. Everyone learns things in their own ways and in their own time. Everyone has things they are better or worse at than you and that is okay. We are all different, but we are also all people and we are very much the same in our cores.

I absolutely think that people should stand up for what they believe is right and I do believe that people should speak up if they see something unjust happening that may hurt other people or the Earth. However, I NEVER condone violence as a method in which to make your point. It is NEVER okay to hurt other people, the Earth, or people’s property in order to make a splash or let people know how you feel. In this country we are easily able to do things like write to our elected officials and complain, or go to the state house and lobby for the change you want to see. We also have the ability to vote for officials or run for office ourselves. We can make change in our community by joining the school board or the PTA, going to town halls and speaking out, writing articles or blogs, gaining signatures on a request that we submit to the government. We are not jailed or targeted or killed for speaking out about our disagreements with our government or our elected officials, by our government or our military. This is a HUGE privilege that we take for granted all the time! Not every country allows this. We are lucky. Because we have this ability we should use it and use it properly. We should speak out against injustices but we should never be violent when doing so. It seems like more and more people are feeling comfortable with attacking others using words and physical violence, why?! When did it become okay to do this? I understand if people are frustrated or feeling like they are being persecuted or pushed down, but find another way to express that and take responsibility for your own actions.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King JR.
 Image result for martin luther king jr
Pointing fingers and trying to blame others for the way that you feel is not the answer either. It is unfair for our society to continually point at different groups of people and say, “well you don’t get it because you’ve never been there.” Has that person experienced exactly what you experienced or feel? No, probably not. But does that mean they are a horrible unfeeling person and deserve to be hurt by you? Can’t they still feel empathy toward you and your situation because they have experienced their own hardships in their life? Who are we to judge a book by its cover or a person by what we see on their outsides? We cannot tell from looking at a person what their story is or what they have been through. We have no idea. So it is unfair of us to make snap judgments and say “they must think this way or they must feel this way or they must have never suffered in their life.” That is our jealous ego talking, tell it to shut up! When you see a person for the first time and your ego starts judging, stop and say to yourself, “No….wait a minute, I don’t know them. I am not going to assume anything about them because to assume makes an ASS out of U and ME.” Then take the time to get to know them, you may have more in common then you think.

“As different as we are from one another, as unique as each one of us is, we are much more the same than we are different. That may be the most essential message of all, as we help our children grow toward being caring, compassionate, and charitable adults.” Fred Rogers.
 Image result for fred rogers
An awesome friend of mine recently published a video giving her opinion on this topic and she said that in her mind what we should always do is to share more love and positivity. Look for positive stories about kind, generous, giving people or wonderful things that are happening and share those with the world instead of negative stories. I couldn’t agree more. Again, I revert back to one of my childhood heroes Mr. Rogers who said, “In troubling times, look for the helpers.” I say, not only look for them but celebrate them, share them with the world. The love and light that you share may cause someone to stop and re-consider before posting a hateful message. You can and should also try to do whatever you can to be a helper yourself. Be someone who tries to lift others up when they’re down. Give them hope and love. Do you know what I love doing on social media more than anything? I love writing to complete strangers that post when they are feeling down about something or if they’ve recently had a rough time or lost a loved one and I send them kind words. I send them positive images and wish them only good things. I tell them in my own way, not to give up or feel hopeless because there are people that care. My other favorite thing to do is support others in their efforts. I came from small business owners so I often re-post and support my small business friends. I also help and support other authors, (even if they’re technically my competition, they’re also my tribe!) I belong to a group of writers on Twitter that constantly supports one another with kind words & I love being a part of it #Turtlewriters.

In my working world at my day job, I join inclusion discussions and help to promote activities that will support all employees and include everyone. I am part of the grant committee that decides what non-profit groups we can give money to in order to support their cause of helping underprivileged people who need a hand up, not a hand out. I participate in volunteer activities that give back to our society. I tell you this not to gain your praise, but to show that everyone can be a part of positive things that support other people and our world. I hope dear readers that you can look around and see what you can do. I understand that we live in difficult times, in many ways, we are more blessed than we have ever been, however, we also seem to be more selfish, self involved and hateful, or maybe just more vocal about it. Either way, it is disheartening. It makes me feel like our society is not a strong rope anymore that ties us all together; the rope is frayed and coming apart at the seams. It makes me sad and I hope that together we can repair it. Until next time dear readers, try to love one another and treat each other well. Writing and words can equal sorrow and misery at times, but with positivity behind them, writing can also equal happiness ;).

Comments