Frayed Society, Breaking Heart:
“In some ways we are different, but in so many ways we are
the same.” (Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood)
In the wake of yet another violent attack against other
human beings and the online backlash that occurred from it, I feel compelled to
write a special blog. Normally, I do not post about politically fueled
arguments or societies issues. I try to stick to blogs about writing and
writers lives, however I cannot sit silently by as these kinds of violent acts
keep happening and not say anything about them. Recently in Charlottesville Virginia
a group of protesters gathered to say that a statue that had been in the town
for many years should be torn down because it was offensive to them and their
history. There was an uprising of people that disagreed with them and violence
ensued. Several people were killed and more injured. (This is a short version
of what happened, however, I encourage you to read articles if you want more
facts.) This is one of many protests in the past few years that have ended in
violence. I am so ashamed of the society that we live in that I find it
difficult to raise my son in this world. I just do not know what to tell him
anymore or how to explain our world to him. As a mother, if my son was angry
that someone else had a toy that he wanted or if he was feeling jealous of
someone or hurt by someone making fun of him, I would say to him, do not break
that person’s property or throw something at them or take what they have or try
to hurt them in any way. Instead, use your words. I teach my son to speak up
when something is bothering him and we talk about it. I also teach my son that
sometimes you can confront the person you are having trouble with, ask them to
share the item you want or ask them to stop doing whatever they are doing
because it is hurting your feelings. I teach him that, hopefully, they will
stop or share, however, they may not. If they do not, it is up to him to walk
away. I tell him he can feel sad or mad about it, he can tell someone what they
did or cry about it. He can see if someone else can change their mind for him.
If none of that works, he has to accept it and move on. Basically I teach that
you can’t always get what you want. Sometimes you have to just be grateful for
what you do have. I also teach my son that we are all different and that that
is okay. I tell him, your friend acts differently than you because they are
different. Everyone learns things in their own ways and in their own time.
Everyone has things they are better or worse at than you and that is okay. We
are all different, but we are also all people and we are very much the same in
our cores.
I absolutely think that people should stand up for what they
believe is right and I do believe that people should speak up if they see
something unjust happening that may hurt other people or the Earth. However, I
NEVER condone violence as a method in which to make your point. It is NEVER
okay to hurt other people, the Earth, or people’s property in order to make a
splash or let people know how you feel. In this country we are easily able to
do things like write to our elected officials and complain, or go to the state
house and lobby for the change you want to see. We also have the ability to
vote for officials or run for office ourselves. We can make change in our
community by joining the school board or the PTA, going to town halls and
speaking out, writing articles or blogs, gaining signatures on a request that
we submit to the government. We are not jailed or targeted or killed for
speaking out about our disagreements with our government or our elected
officials, by our government or our military. This is a HUGE privilege that we
take for granted all the time! Not every country allows this. We are lucky.
Because we have this ability we should use it and use it properly. We should
speak out against injustices but we should never be violent when doing so. It
seems like more and more people are feeling comfortable with attacking others
using words and physical violence, why?! When did it become okay to do this? I
understand if people are frustrated or feeling like they are being persecuted
or pushed down, but find another way to express that and take responsibility
for your own actions.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Martin Luther King JR.
Pointing fingers and trying to blame others for the way that
you feel is not the answer either. It is unfair for our society to continually
point at different groups of people and say, “well you don’t get it because
you’ve never been there.” Has that person experienced exactly what you
experienced or feel? No, probably not. But does that mean they are a horrible
unfeeling person and deserve to be hurt by you? Can’t they still feel empathy
toward you and your situation because they have experienced their own hardships
in their life? Who are we to judge a book by its cover or a person by what we
see on their outsides? We cannot tell from looking at a person what their story
is or what they have been through. We have no idea. So it is unfair of us to
make snap judgments and say “they must think this way or they must feel this
way or they must have never suffered in their life.” That is our jealous ego
talking, tell it to shut up! When you see a person for the first time and your
ego starts judging, stop and say to yourself, “No….wait a minute, I don’t know
them. I am not going to assume anything about them because to assume makes an
ASS out of U and ME.” Then take the time to get to know them, you may have more
in common then you think.
“As different as we are from one another, as unique as each
one of us is, we are much more the same than we are different. That may be the
most essential message of all, as we help our children grow toward being
caring, compassionate, and charitable adults.” Fred Rogers.
An awesome friend of mine recently published a video giving
her opinion on this topic and she said that in her mind what we should always
do is to share more love and positivity. Look for positive stories about kind,
generous, giving people or wonderful things that are happening and share those
with the world instead of negative stories. I couldn’t agree more. Again, I
revert back to one of my childhood heroes Mr. Rogers who said, “In troubling
times, look for the helpers.” I say, not only look for them but celebrate them,
share them with the world. The love and light that you share may cause someone
to stop and re-consider before posting a hateful message. You can and should also
try to do whatever you can to be a helper yourself. Be someone who tries to
lift others up when they’re down. Give them hope and love. Do you know what I
love doing on social media more than anything? I love writing to complete
strangers that post when they are feeling down about something or if they’ve
recently had a rough time or lost a loved one and I send them kind words. I
send them positive images and wish them only good things. I tell them in my own
way, not to give up or feel hopeless because there are people that care. My
other favorite thing to do is support others in their efforts. I came from
small business owners so I often re-post and support my small business friends.
I also help and support other authors, (even if they’re technically my competition,
they’re also my tribe!) I belong to a group of writers on Twitter that
constantly supports one another with kind words & I love being a part of
it #Turtlewriters.
In my working world at my day job, I join inclusion
discussions and help to promote activities that will support all employees and
include everyone. I am part of the grant committee that decides what non-profit
groups we can give money to in order to support their cause of helping
underprivileged people who need a hand up, not a hand out. I participate in
volunteer activities that give back to our society. I tell you this not to gain
your praise, but to show that everyone can be a part of positive things that
support other people and our world. I hope dear readers that you can look
around and see what you can do. I understand that we live in difficult times,
in many ways, we are more blessed than we have ever been, however, we also seem
to be more selfish, self involved and hateful, or maybe just more vocal about
it. Either way, it is disheartening. It makes me feel like our society is not a
strong rope anymore that ties us all together; the rope is frayed and coming
apart at the seams. It makes me sad and I hope that together we can repair it.
Until next time dear readers, try to love one another and treat each other
well. Writing and words can equal sorrow and misery at times, but with positivity
behind them, writing can also equal happiness ;).
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