Women, our own worst
enemies? Let’s stop now!
Lately the social media platforms have been a buzz with all
of the news from Holly Wood about producers and directors treating women badly
in the movie, TV, and theater industries. They do not often produce or create
movies or shows with strong female leads. They claim that those are not money
makers, or that they do not have an audience, that no one will care. Some
producers refuse to work with women unless they are a certain age, or color or
attractiveness. There have been confirmed stories of women being expected to do
certain, “favors” for producers or directors in order to get a part and it is
now known that this has been going on for likely centuries since the
entertainment business began. On top of this when women do gain lead character
roles often they are not paid as much as the men. This is a reoccurring theme
now in every industry, politics, entertainment, sports, large corporate
companies, non-profits, the novel industry, etc. etc. So the question becomes
what can be done about it?
I have heard many discussions and opinions on this topic,
everything from, “blame the men, its all their fault, we need to stand up and
revolt against them.” To, “Really it’s the women’s fault they are the ones that
dress sexy and act stupid.” And also, “Women are not built the same as men
therefore we are not capable.” Okay okay, whoa now, let’s step back and look at
some things. Number one, to
say that women somehow asked for it or deserve to
be treated like lower class citizens or sexual objects is insane. No one
deserves to be harassed or bullied or harmed. I don’t care who you are or how
you dress, NO ONE deserves that. If female directors were treating young men
this way people would be shocked and appalled, but if they saw a young guy
sleeping with his director, would society blame the director and be angry with
her or would they say good for him, he’s seducing an older woman? I mean, what
is the deal with the double standards in our society?
Next, let’s talk about the whole women blaming men. Yes, men
are in charge of practically everything. The percentage of men in powerful
positions is vastly larger than the percentage of women. Clearly that is
because of history, because of the fact that our society has had that view that
because women can have the babies and are “usually” more sensitive then our
place is in the home and we have no knowledge or capability to be involved in
corporate business or politics. However, we as women know this is not the case,
so what do we do about it? We can sit around blaming men or worse blaming other
women. We can act like a victim. “Well I didn’t get the job because the guy
hiring is clearly sexist, he hired a man for that position.” (You have to ask
yourself a question though, what was that man’s background? What was his
experience? Maybe he simply had higher qualifications than you.) What if you
applied for a job and the man who was hiring hired another woman for the job,
would you play the victim then too and say, “He hired her because she dressed
sexier than I did.” Or would you congratulate her authentically and keep trying
until you landed another job?
To be honest, in my lifetime I have seen this happen over
and over, women that point out each other’s flaws in front of others. Saying
things like, “do you see what she’s wearing? She looks like a nun in that
outfit.” Or, “do you see her dress? She looks like a slut in that.” I’m
reminded of that old 90’s song by Sir Mix A lot, “Oh my God Becky look at her
butt, its soooooo big!” Seriously, women need to stop tearing each other down,
especially in front of men. If we want the male species to take us seriously as
a sex we need to provide them a positive example by supporting each other,
praising other women, congratulating other women, helping other women,
supporting other women. We need to stop looking at other women as our
competition and look at them as our sisters and friends. Have you ever known a
couple where the guy cheated on the girl and the girl went after the girl that
he cheated with, calling her a hoe or attacking her? Why? Why does this happen?
We should not be so quick to blame others. We need join together as a solitary
unit, a force to be reckoned with.
On top of supporting one another we need to ask ourselves
what can we do to solve the problem? Stop passing the buck or playing the blame
game. Do you have an idea for something that you want to create, or a business
you want to run, or position that you want to be in? Then what’s stopping you
from doing it yourself? I recently watched a speech given by actress Reese
Witherspoon where she talked about how she had noticed the lack of movies about
women’s stories and after bringing the idea up to men in the industry and being
laughed at and told, “That’s because no one cares about women’s stories.” Reese
decided this was not acceptable and she doubted that it was true. So instead of
giving up on the idea she created her own production company with her own money
and started reading books written by women about women. Then her company
produced two movies to start with, both of which made billions of dollars world
wide. That was in her first year!
So, ladies come on! Let’s work together to put our
creativeness out there and start making money on our own accord with our own intelligence!
(Gonna add a plug now for my awesome friend!) My friend Heather Wood, (I have
mentioned her before in this blog.) She is a great business woman, a spiritual
coach and strategist. And she has recently created a fantastic program designed
for women to help support other women entrepreneurs. It is called The Tribe.
You can check it out on http://fitbybodylove.com/thetribe.
She saw this same trend of women being left in the dust or convincing themselves
that they could not be successful and asked herself, what can I do about this?
So this program was born. I think we all need to do the same. We should ask
what can I do to help my own dreams become realized and what can I do to
support other women? (Below: My friend Heather Wood)
For myself, I can promise that I will continue to write
stories about strong women and I will continue to support other female authors.
I will feature their books on my blogs. I will talk about what they created and
share on my online platforms other great works by both women and men, but
especially women. And in my day job in the corporate world, I will continue to
mentor and speak out and support women, encouraging them to be brave enough to
negotiate for the things that they desire and feel they deserve, higher pay,
higher level jobs, more flexibility, whatever it is, you can get those things
if you fill yourself with confidence and fight for them. Set goals for yourself
and don’t give up. Network with other people and create your own brand and be
proud to promote it. All of these things will lead to women feeling more
fulfilled and happier, which will make them have higher self-esteems and treat
others better too. Because when you love yourself it is easier to share that
love with others. So give it a try today dear readers, support, believe,
encourage, and create! Until next time remember, writing=happiness. ;)
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